A guide to being a baby

Hello all you babies out there. I am going to explain how to be the best toddler ON EARTH!!! =O

Step one: Keep calm and suck your toes.

By this, I mean you will always be REALLY cute when you start sucking on your little toes (they are delicious, after all.) Just do this and everyone will love you.

Step two: Stay young, stay cute.

Every baby knows that you have to be cute in your younger years, otherwise you won’t be loved by the audience (a.k.a parents.) this must be remembered at all times. It is the most basic rule of being a baby.


You need to do things wrong to be the best. Babies are a bit like dogs; do something funny and you could end up on You’ve Been Framed! Basically, you need to stage something hilarious and you would have £250 in your pocket and fans galore.


Just follow these simple rules and you too can be an epic baby!

6 thoughts on “A guide to being a baby”

    1. Okay I have been a baby for a week and now everyone is just looking at me in a really strange way I mean who doesn’t suck their thumb on a daily basis?

      Nervous laugh nervous laugh.

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